Parenting while heartbroken can be very difficult. People without children may think that any breakup is no big deal; you get over it and move on. But others know that not only do all of your friends show up to support you while you are down, but even the people who never met your ex come around to help you feel better. This can make letting go of someone tough when you have kids involved.
Parenting While Heartbroken: Do’s
1. Do Go on Dates
This may sound like a strange idea, especially because the last thing on earth you probably want right now is another romance in your life. But there are some reasons why dating while heartbroken can be good for you.
People who have been through the loss of love before understand how it feels and know what they need from their support system as they try this new lifestyle.
Dating while heartbroken can also help you get back to who you used to be before your ex and return to some hobbies and habits that made you happy. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more confident and sure of yourself you will feel. So find a matchmaker in your area, sign up for some dating sites, or ask one of your friends to set you up with someone they know.
2. Do Maintain a Routine for Your Child’s Sake
When tough situations come up in life, it is often best for kids if their parents maintain normal routines as much as possible. Hence, they know everything will still go smoothly, and things will be okay no matter how difficult or hurtful things may seem at the moment. This applies to parenting while heartbroken too.
It may not feel like it right now, but the best thing you can do is go to work, pick your kid(s) up from daycare/school, and come home to eat dinner together. It will be hard at first because you are so used to having your ex with you.
Before the breakup, you probably did everything together, so it isn’t easy without them there anymore. But kids need their parents even when things get tough. So try not to skip too many days of work or school functions where they need to be picked up or dropped off.
3. Do Discuss Your Feelings With Your Children
Doing this can be hard in the beginning when you are not feeling so strong emotionally. But children want to understand what is going on when their parents are having a tough time.
After all, they rely on you being there for them all the time and not disappearing suddenly because of another love interest or job opportunity. After a breakup, they must see how strong their mom or dad still is, even if things did not work out perfectly in life’s journey this time around.
Parenting While Heartbroken: Don’ts
1. Don’t Blame Your Children for Your Breakup
It is not their fault that you two grew apart or that your ex found someone they felt was better suited for them. It is also not fair to put too much pressure on your kids by expecting them to be the ones to make you feel better about what happened between you and their other parents.
So try hard not to say anything negative about either of your exes in front of them; this will most likely dredge up their feelings about the situation, and it will not help them at all.
2. Don’t Compare Your Life To Other People’s Successes
Yes, some parents get to live out their dream of staying at home with their kids while they are young while others go off somewhere else for work every day. This may seem like a bad deal to you right now because your ex does that exact thing, but never forget that their successes in life do not make yours any less worthwhile or important!
So instead of feeling envious of what someone else has (a house, new car, successful career), focus on what is best for you and your children.
3. Don’t Give Up On Yourself or Your Future
Putting your head in the sand after a breakup does not do anybody any good. You need to look forward to the future and think about what will make you happy again. If that means moving somewhere else or taking on a new career, then go ahead and make those changes now before it is too late!
Sometimes during a long-term relationship, we lose sight of who we were before we met our ex; if their departure has caused us pain and suffering, then that may be true. But it is important to remember that we have a future filled with endless opportunities, and it would be a mistake not to look at them all!
Parenting while heartbroken can be difficult, but it is important to remember that your children are still watching you closely. We’ve provided the do’s and don’ts that will help you get through this tough time while maintaining your role as a parent. Remember to focus on the future and what makes you happy; things will get better in time.